When Life is Hard You CAN'T GIVE UP
Life is hard right now. It just is and I have to get over it or drown in my own sorrows. When I started this blog today it was a total pity party for me and my woes. I then thought about why I do this blog each day and why I started PNP. It was to inspire others to lead a healthy LIFESTYLE. That includes your mental and emotional well being, too.
It's amazing I can be almost three years post losing over 110 lbs., exercised almost every day since I first started, created what I think is the best fitness community on the internet (I dare you find one more supportive than the PNP girls), and actually have to MAKE myself workout these days and fight all day long not to clean out every peanut butter jar, gluten-free cookie, or anything else you can think of because I'm stressed. I literally want to emotional eat so bad. My moods are pathetic and make me want to stay home reading about Logan's illness versus taking time to ensure my own health.
Wow, I will never be able to say how hard it is right now. It's a minute-by-minute battle. I find myself starting projects and such with the sole purpose of staying away from food. The majority of my workouts I've ONLY done because I am training for a competition and have to report in to my trainers each week. Seriously! The Queen of PNP can't motivate herself right now. That shows you it happens to us all.
What is important, though, is that I haven't given up. I've punched the workout clock faithfully even when it meant working out when most of the world is asleep (day or night). Knowing support is important, I've tried to schedule workouts with a partner to make sure I'm working hard enough and not just coasting along (thanks Lisa). My eating has been spotty but I've been eating clean, prepping, and only having OOPS moments on something that will benefit my body. No ding-dongs or McDonalds but I have fell prey to the peanut butter a few times when the low carbs were killing me.
All in all I've done great keeping things going. I'm so glad I have a goal. This is me being real with you; if it weren't for the competition I would have checked out of all this last week. I don't know if right now is rock bottom, it might not be. What I do know is that I won't give up, I'll stand on stage with Lisa (probably crying because I'm hungry and proud I made it), and I'll do it knowing I refused to give up my dreams just because life got hard.
That's what I want each of you to think about today. Are you giving up your dreams and desires because life is hard? If you are, really question this. Are you giving up because you HAVE TO or because IT'S EASY? For me it would be EASY to give up everything right now and lose who I am. If I had to for Logan I would in a hot second, but I don't have to. Eating unhealthy, not being in shape, being ashamed of my body, and physically weak is a lot worse than the small sacrificies in sleep and emotional eating.